Recently a particular faction of people have caught my attention. A group that I’m sure everyone else has noticed before, and me being me, is just now giving thought to the matter.
Throughout my life most, if not all, of the single moms I knew had children young, unmarried, and perhaps even with a man whom they weren’t in love with. Their pain was something I’d seen a lot in life. It’s been portrayed in movies, TV shows, and your local high school cafeteria. Sadly, I guess I’d grown accustomed to this dilemma; and while my heart hurt for them it was never a pressing issue for me.
The past few years, I’ve met another type of single mom. The kind that was married to the father, loved him so much, sometimes (most times) too much. The kind of mom that held so tightly onto her marriage, in lonely secrecy cried, even when her beloved husband was making choices that destroyed her and her child/children’s lives. Drugs, alcohol, infidelity, and all around wasting of a life that could have been so perfect. Picket fence perfect, in fact. (Yes, I know that a woman can leave a man with a child, but that’s not my subject matter today.)
These women stand out to me because the pain I see in them I’ve never seen before. (Let me state that I’ve only seen this pain because a few women have let me be close enough, because they’re strong as nails, and you wouldn’t be able to tell their pain). I only now realize what that pain is because a friend was able, in her beautiful weak moment, (which is still stronger than me on my strongest days) explained to me that it not only hurts her, but it’s something her child can never shake. It’s something she’ll never fully be able to shake.
I mean you break up, get divorced, even have kids and such, and yeah it hurt; but this is a different kind of hurt. This is watching a man you loved with everything in you, who you worked so hard to make everything ok with…watching him flush his life away, along with what feels like your heart, and half of your child. This is a kind of pain I cannot even begin to grasp. To worry about how all of this will affect you children. If they’ll hate you, hate him, rebel, make the same mistakes, always feel like something’s missing; and there’s nothing you can do about. You’re trying so hard to pick up your own pieces of your heart, yet still worried about your child’s future heart.
I don’t want to preach about picking the right partner, or about being a good partner. I’m not going to go on a long spiel about God’s grace, which is sufficient and good, or about forgiveness. I’m not here to backhandedly tell these ladies to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, because honestly, I don’t know what to say to them. I have no idea the thoughts they have and the depths of their pain. I just want to give them a shout out for still being moms through it all. Not walking away, much like your husband did, but helping your children grow and trying to keep them from hurting from all he did. I just want to give you a little recognition apart from the group of single moms. I’ve seen moms give up; throw in the towel, when left with a child after heartbreak; but you didn’t. Never let anyone bring you down, not family, not your friends, not your ex, nobody. Because you’ve made it out of the woods already. You’re a mom all on your own. You’re heart still hurts, and yeah, there will be more hardship. But YOU , you , have made it 2 weeks, 6 months, 2 years, or 12 years, and you’re still a mom
Photos are not mine. I don’t not own or receive money for any post. .